Why do snowmen wear scarves?
DON’T try and match wits with me…I am both matchless and witless.
Do carousel’s or merry-go-rounds freak out real horses?
Am I the only one that’s noticed that most masks everyone is using as a deterrent to transmitting the coronavirus are in the same shape as the only part of the cowl NOT masking Batman? They’re kind of like the donut holes to the donut.
Day 86 of the quarantine.
My dog is sick of me. After initially enjoying the extra treats from my being home all the time (why should I be the only one over-eating snack food), she has grown tired of me being around ALL THE TIME and appears to look forward to me leaving the house so she can get some real REM sleep. I can tell this is the case because when I open the back door looking to let her out, she waits for me to exit and then closes the door behind me. Luckily, with no opposable thumbs she hasn’t figured out how to lock the downstairs windows.
Till next time…
Day 54 of the quarantine. Lately I have opted to try and amuse myself and my family members by adopting the speech pattern of an 80 year old Brooklynite. I wander around, bent over with a stoop complaining, “I don’t like this terlet paper we’ve had to buy. It’s very abrasive. It irritates my bottom.” I found it amusing. My family did not.
I must be going now. In an effort to “stay regulah, I’m having a salad for dinner with nuthin’ but earl and vinegah on it.”
Till next time….
Day 45 of the quarantine. Today, again, I re-injured myself by bumping my head after pacing around and walking into the clear plexiglass wall I had built in my basement, which of course was done for my own protection. The first time was passing out from lack of oxygen after realizing I should have poked a few air holes in the glass. You would have thought I’d learned this lesson after the unfortunate hamster incident from my youth. Despite adding the air holes it still gets very cloudy and greasy in here when using my George Forman grill. Spraying air freshener only adds to the London feel and creates a very strange odor. I’m not sure how to describe the mix of potpourri and burger fat but that’s the end result. I resist using my Lysol disinfectant, because, let’s face it, that’s gold these days. But there are benefits to all of this. It blocks the judgemental faces and shaking of heads from my disapproving family who remain on the other side of the glass supposedly “making the best” of the whole situation. So there….
Till next time.
Who knew that “going viral” would take on a whole new meaning these days? Just wishing everyone peace of mind. Try to tune out all the loud panic mongering and use common sense and for God’s sake, stop hoarding things like toilet paper. You’re not marooned with Gilligan. Everything you need will be there if your neighbor will relax and stop acting like they’re about to get on a FedEx flight with Tom Hanks or go to Mars with Matt Damon. Hang in. Stay strong. Be confident. Help each other.
We all have baggage. The question is, will we help each other carry those bags?
Open ears + open eyes + open heart = open mind