Some folks, when faced with an important decision or making a moral or ethical choice on something, opt to take the “Ostrich Approach” which is to stick their heads in the sand. This, of course, leaves them with their butts in the air and with no vision. They are fair game.

When one gets a “tickle in the throat” shouldn’t it cause a laughing fit rather than a coughing fit?

Though, it is probably easier to forgive someone speaking on the phone that gets a coughing fit.  Laughing uncontrollably in the middle of a conversation won’t pass if you say, between giggles, “sorry, I had a tickle in my throat.”

Marriage is like being a baseball player.  If you can win 3 out of every 10 arguments, you’re in the hall of fame.

I got into a verbal war the other day with a friend of mine when he pulled out this old chestnut…”Sticks & stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.”

So, I hit him with a stick.

Lately, I’ve started a routine in which each time I step up to a urinal and right before taking care of business I say, out loud, “Release the Kraken.”

I read an article recently where a study showed that chewing gum could help someone concentrate especially during mass testing.  So, I guess it was the TEACHER who needed to make sure they had enough gum for the whole class.

Where do snowmen and snow-women come from?

Well, just as it does with most species on earth, here it all starts with snowballs.

My least favorite article of clothing is the dickey.  It was when I was 8 years old and it still is today.

It’s a deceitful little thing that fakes the observer into believing that I’m wearing a full sweater under my jacket when in reality it’s a barely half-sweater with no arms.  Moo-hoo-ha-ha….

Let’s face it…it’s just dumb AND it’s called a DICKEY!  Ultimately, I believe the main reason I don’t like it is because it’s called a DICKEY!  I guess they named it that because it was deficient and inadequate and couldn’t compete with all the real sweaters out there.

I don’t know…I guess I’m being immature about it but I can’t help but think that I might have had a different opinion of it if it was called a studley.

Today I decided to try and really ignite things so I’m going to be pitching Woo.

Tomorrow I’m pitching Smith and then it will be Jones.

And you all thought that Woo was on first.