What doesn’t kill you makes you dance the night away. And then in the morning, there were blisters.
Monthly Archives: May 2013
#274
What doesn’t kill you makes you dilly dally. I know what that means but where the heck did that originate from? I bet they spent a lot of idle time thinking it up.
#273
What doesn’t kill you makes you young at heart. Unfortunately, the rest of your body is roughly 103 years old.
#272
What doesn’t kill you makes you go for the whole kit and caboodle. The last time you forgot the kit rendering your caboodle useless.
#271
What doesn’t kill you makes you fruitful and multiply. That’s usually the result when eating fruit cocktail while doing your math homework. Stop groaning…you know you thought it was funny.
The Dangers of Late Night Snacking
I was partaking in the very bad practice of snacking in bed late at night and in the morning I awoke to find that under my covers was the head of an animal cracker horse. Lesson learned.
#270
What doesn’t kill you makes you immeasurably satisfied. Measuring tape never stretches far enough for the important things.
#269
What doesn’t kill you makes you disenfranchised. Like a McDonald’s owner whose had his nuggets removed.
#268
What doesn’t kill you makes you move at a glacier’s speed. This expression used to mean “very slowly” but in today’s day & age with global warming, it’s very fast indeed. And wet.
#267
What doesn’t kill you makes you release the Kraken. Unfortunately, due to being locked up for far too long, the Kraken’s knees are sore and it has a bad back. It’s one creaky Kraken. No longer inspiring fear in its enemies the people opt to take it on. This gives birth to a famous saying and henceforth, whenever faced with a big job, folks will say, “Let’s get Kraken.”