And then there were grapes…

On the seventh day God rested.  But rest wasn’t enough after six grueling days putting together an entire universe.  So God created grapes and saw that they were good.  They were refreshing and sweet and soon the grapes became fruitful and multiplied and these were then grapefruits.  But the grapefruits became too numerous and their taste soured and eventually chaos ensued and they soon became grape nuts.  The grape nuts, though some thought to be healthier than their predecessors, became crazed and hard to control until God felt that he had to step in and so He smote the grape nuts with mighty vengeance and thunderous blows till they were unrecognizable.

And then there was jelly.

Christmas Cards

Coming off the holidays and taking one final look at the family pictures sent via Christmas Cards from loved ones gave me pause to notice how pre-dominant the pictures are that include Santa Claus or something akin to the jolly old elf of the North Pole.  Considering it is the birth of Christ that we are celebrating I wonder why we don’t have the kids’ pictures taken with the baby Jesus.

You could have a life size nativity scene with “real” people portraying all the familiar characters…Jesus, Mary, Joseph and some assorted wise men & shepherds.  The little tikes could get on line for their photo opportunity and upon getting their turn, step into the picture as the character of their choice.  They could be a shepherd or wise man or even an angel.  If they’ve had their fill of that from school Christmas plays, they could step up & be Mary or Joseph.  I don’t think anyone should decide to be Jesus.  Besides the ethical faux pas and boldness of being baby Jesus in your Christmas photo, there would be the problem of dressing in swaddling clothes.  I don’t think that would work at all.

I suppose you could simply stand there in your winter garb carrying your shopping bags.  Or you could cozy up between Mary & Joseph and put your arms around them with a big grin as if you were at a family Christmas party.

Whatever the case, I bet those Christmas Cards would get a lot more attention than just another one of you & the family in front of the Christmas tree.  Word.


Happy New Year

I don’t know if your New Year’s celebration is anything like mine.  Every year I gather with family & friends and and we share some drink, some food, great conversation and we sing along to great old songs, especially “Auld Lang Syne” and after the great Times Square ball descends we hug and we kiss and then before too long the night is capped off when a great wave of water comes and knocks everything & everyone upside down.  We all have great fun trying to swim our way UP to the BOTTOM of the room and seeing who survives and who doesn’t.  Is that a great parlor game or what?

Well…it’s the way I like to remember it.