HVAC telemarketer calls up and asks if I want my ducts cleaned.
I said”, nope…we just toss ’em in the pond and they’re good to go.”
An errant projectile
An unintended result
What the caveman said during a long and lonely winter.
When one gets a “tickle in the throat” shouldn’t it cause a laughing fit rather than a coughing fit?
Though, it is probably easier to forgive someone speaking on the phone that gets a coughing fit. Laughing uncontrollably in the middle of a conversation won’t pass if you say, between giggles, “sorry, I had a tickle in my throat.”
Marriage is like being a baseball player. If you can win 3 out of every 10 arguments, you’re in the hall of fame.
When they make popcorn chicken, how do you suppose they coax the chickens into the popcorn maker?
A road or street that leads to no outlet
What happens to my butt when sitting at my desk for far too long.
I got into a verbal war the other day with a friend of mine when he pulled out this old chestnut…”Sticks & stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.”
So, I hit him with a stick.
You know what causes a conniption?
From eating too many knishes.
I was doing some man-scaping recently and while carefully using the scissors I impulsively started singing the “Merry Ol’ Land of Oz” song from the film with some slight lyric alterations. “Snip, snip here, snip, snip there and a couple of la-dee-da’s…that’s how we shape our private parts in the merry ol’ land of Oz.”